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STAY GRATEFUL EVERY DAY

Stay Grateful Everyday

One needs to be alive to have enemies. 

Just like you can’t be dead and still have friends.

Therefore, it is imperative to be glad 

Irrespective of how precarious and hard

Where you may be at the moment.

Stop worrying; no need to vent. 

All things will fall in place. 

Remove focus from that empty space. 

There is certainly no mistakes

About who goes ahead and takes

Glory at a particular time. 

Do not feel like it’s a crime

When others are ahead. 

Relax and bless God instead. 

All things work together for good

For all who love God. 

Abide in Him and let Him abide in you.

Trust, especially when it feels He fails you.

Nothing He does is engineered to please man. 

That’s because He’s no respecter of man. 

Men need to learn to accept His will

And enjoy their freewill.

Enjoy each moment whether good or bad. 

Never allow yourself stay sad.

Staying sad is an unhealthy choice anyway.

You should decide against that every day.

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HOW DO YOU FIND THE COURAGE TO FORGIVE?

HOW DO YOU FIND THE COURAGE TO

Philip has always been a fine preacher. He is articulate, his words are pungent and his baritone voice is next to none. His wife complains about his love for the pulpit; she claims he doesn’t see her when he gets on it. She even fears that he loves it more than he loves her.

He is such a magnificent creature to behold; the ladies flock around him whenever he gets off the stage or when the service is over.  The peak point of his ministration is answering their questions and leading them to Christ, he says. 

All Tola, his wife wanted was a husband who would notice and compliment her from time to time but her husband was engrossed with shepherding the flocks in the church, not the one at home. The ministry cannot be allowed to suffer, he says. 

Not long after, they were transferred to a new parish, Tola met a young man who always ushered her with compliments. He would also commend the work her husband was doing and the sacrifice they were making. They got really close and she would confide in him over the smallest of issues in her home. 

You May Want To See: HOW CAN I STOP BLAMING MYSELF?

Phillip was crushed when he found them in his matrimonial bed when he suddenly returned home to pick up his favorite Bible for the ministration he had. He didn’t take the matter public because they both begged and asked for forgiveness and kept begging; they said it would never repeat itself again. 

He thought of his image, reputation, and what such a scandal will do to his home and the church and concluded he would let it go but the courage to forgive is hard to find. It was easier to preach it than do it.

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WHY YOU SHOULD KNOW YOUR GENOTYPE BEFORE MARRIAGE

GENOTYPE BEFORE MARRIAGE

Sickle cell anemia has been a major killer of children and people from all around the world, over the years, lack of proper education on genotype to young people has caused a huge defect on several marriages, homes, family and household. Understanding our genotype before going into marriage is as important as the marriage, this is because the issues that springs out incompatible genotype are critical ones. ‘Wikipedia’, defines genotype as an organism’s complete set of heritable genes, or genes that can be passed down from parents to offspring. These genes helps encode the characteristics that are physically expressed in an organism, such as hair color, height, etc.

Simply put, genotype is a gene passed down from parent to their offspring. As it is, one of the major goal of a marriage is to give birth to offspring, knowing your genotype is a great determinant of the sort of genotype your offspring will have, some very few people are managing severe health complications due to genotype related issues, knowing your genotype will save you a great deal of issues.

It is no longer news to say that some genotype are clearly incompatible, I urge young people before going into marriage that they check up their genotype regardless of the love they claim to have for each other or even religious believes. This is because the sort of gene that runs through your spouse is not seen through love it can only be seen through adequate laboratory tests. To be sure of the genotype of your spouse or fiancé go for a test.

You May Want To See: 10 THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT BEING SINGLE BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED

Incompatibility of genes has been the reason why we have sickle cell outbreak all around the world, this severe blood complication called sickle cell has caused a lot of threats to life and has also hampered many love stories all around, it is very imperative we test to know our gene and that of our partners so as to keep them healthy and also produce healthy offspring.  A large amount of children suffer from this severe complications which is passed unto them from the genes of their parent.

Photo credit www.legit.com.ng

Genotype from the male and female merges during sexual and intercourse to produce another gene in the offspring, so both genes comes to play in the formation of an offspring, so as not to birth offspring with health complication we advise that only compatible gene get married.

Basically, there are five types of the hemoglobin genotypes which runs in human beings which are: AA, AS, AC, SS. The way it works is that in child production each person will donate a part of the hemoglobin gene that is, if the woman is AA she will donate A and if the man is SS he will donate S as that is what made up his gene.

Below is a list of marriageable genotypes

AA + AA (Excellent)

AA + AS (Good)

AA + SS (Fair)

AA + AC (Good)

AS + AS (Very Good)

AS + SS (Very Bad)

AS +AC (Bad Advice Needed)

SS + SS (Very Bad)

AC + SS (Very Bad)

AC + AC (Bad Advice Needed)

Getting married to a partner with a compatible genotype is necessary to kick out the spread of sickle cell anemia and given your children freedom choice on who to marry and also given them a chance of good health. Bone marrow transplant has been the only proven cure for SC, SS, and CC and it is very expensive and risky.

If you are getting married to your partner don’t get too entangled and forget about your genotype compatibility. It has killed a lot of promising children and talent and it has always been the fault of their parents.

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10 THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT BEING SINGLE BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED

Single Before You Get Married
  1. Marriage doesn’t make life easier. While marriage may bring joy,
    help, and relief in certain areas, it immediately multiplies our distractions, because we’re responsible for this other person, his or her needs, dreams, and growth.
  2. You have a purpose regardless of your relationship status.
    God made you and me for far more than marriage, business, or whatever else we each might choose for ourselves. If we miss this, we risk wasting our lives running in wrong directions, pursuing pitiful dreams, and serving tiny gods.
  3. Time is on your side. A season of singleness is not the minor leagues of marriage. It has the potential to be a unique period of undivided devotion to Christ and undistracted ministry to others..
  4. You need the church. Joining a church is one of the most important things you can do in the not-yet-married life when most young people refuse to be tied down and resists being accountable, or submit to a body of believers. Drive a stake into the ground and say to the whole world that you belong to Jesus, that your life is His.
  5. You can be friends with married people. The longer you’re not yet
    married, the more time you have to learn about marriage from other people’s successes and failures. While you can’t avoid your own set of marital missteps and sins, you certainly can increase the odds of successes, small and large, by being a good student beforehand
  6. God’s plan for you isn’t all about you. Why did God save you? Not
    just so that you could escape hell or relieve some shame and regret, not even so that you could get into heaven. God saved you for God. The Bible says God loved you, chose you, saved you, and made you his own “to the praise of his glorious grace” (Eph. 1:6).
  7. Make Jesus your greatest treasure . . . not a relationship. Most people will strive just to survive singleness and wait to get serious about Jesus and his mission later, when things have settled down in life. Life is short, and everything we have and see here is passing away. Everything but Jesus.
  8. Don’t forget your calling. We are saved to go out into the world for the glory of our Jesus, to make him known—single or married—as our Lord, Savior, and greatest treasure. Redemption is a life-saving rescue, but it also involves a profound rewiring and repurposing. Conversion is about a commission, not just salvation, because we’re not saved to be saved, but saved to be sent.
  9. Remember that your heavenly Father knows what you need. That almighty God of holiness and mercy is not just a judge or a king, but he’s a dad. He watches over and loves you as one of his own sons or daughters. You have an all-wise and all-powerful Father in heaven, who knows everything you need and promises to deliver it precisely when you need it.
  10. Prayer is fuel. Prayer fuels the engine of our hearts and mind. We will not do anything of any real and lasting value without God, which means we will not do anything of any real and lasting value without prayer. Our waiting and longing should be shaped by and filled with prayer. Our search for purpose and direction in singleness should
    begin with prayer. Our pursuit of joy should be a journey of prayer.
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CHOOSING BEYOND THE MAKE UP

CHOOSING-BEYOND-THE-MAKE-UP

Some people are so addicted to wearing makeup that they can’t imagine being without it. While I am not against wearing makeup, it is good to just appreciate yourself the way you are, without the makeup on. Make up can conceal your contour but it can’t change who you really are. Most brides with the transformation of makeup on their wedding day look different from their original appearance. The artist does a great job covering spots and contours to achieve a flawless face to the admiration of guests. It is okay and advisable for a bride to look her best on her wedding day but beyond the makeup who really are you getting married to? Do you know this person’s character enough to be able to put up with them or you are deciding by all the external features.

To love someone and be loved is a very beautiful thing, to find that one person to spend the rest of your life with is a greatfeeling and so people would do anything just to make someone love them. Even box them to become the kind of mate they desire in marriage. It is amazing what people go through in bid to give or get love. Some guys focus on keeping an attractive physique and money by any means just to woo whatever woman they desire. Some ladies focus on all sorts of makeover that makes them almost unrecognizable, some are just crazy over boobs and butt enhancement and booty pads just to make their natural endowment bigger that it actually is. Little wonder marriages don’t last any more, people focused so much on the fake, the temporal and that which does not last. When considering marriage, be truthful to yourself and look out for someone who will be as truthful and not just keeping up to impress you.

While keeping an attractive look is good, you can’t base your choice of a marital partner on just looks. Looks change with time! Any man who wants a woman because of her boobs and booty is not seeking a long term relationship because those features are interpreted as sex to a man. Booty and boobs makes him wants sex and sex alone is not enough to sustain a marriage. Yes it is possible for a man to have sex with a woman without a heart connection. An ideal marital partner should be attracted to your heart first before your sexual organs.

You can’t choose your man because of his biceps and how loaded his pocket or bank account is. He could grow potbelly and I tell you the truth it is harder to maintain such physique. Would you stop loving him when he begins to grow bigger than when you met? There would be broke days, days that he may not have money to meet all your demands and everything money can buy. There will be days when your needs will surmount what he has to offer. What will you do at such times? Leave him?

When Isaac was going to get married in Gen 24, it was stated that the girl had to be carefully chosen and selected, unfortunately not many young people apply such care when deciding for a life partner. Verse 16, “And the girl was very beautiful and attractive, chaste and modest and unmarried. And she went down to the well, filled her water jar and came up.”

A careful selection has nothing to do with how you feel when that person comes close to you because you might have sexual feelings for someone and it is not a sign that the relationship is right. A careful selection will have to listen to the voice of the spirit; it goes beyond what you think and people’s opinion of who you should marry. Do you know that when you base your choice on careful selection means that you will have to go through moments of contemplations and those are the times when the Holy Spirit impress in your heart which way to go.

The proposed wife in the passage above was first beautiful and this beauty goes beyond what the physical eyes can see. It has to do with a relationship with God, character, integrity, amiable personality, and these are qualities that cannot come on anyone by applying the finest makeup. These are the qualities a young person should first be looking out for before considering other things that can fade away with time. While your makeup can conceal the contours in your face and make you look attractive it can never conceal a bad character. While you are emphasis on the outward appearance so you would get your desired mate, remember that you can easily attract anyone with your looks but your character will keep that person.

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WHY DO I FIND IT SO HARD TO FORGIVE MY HUSBAND?

WHY-DO-I-FIND-IT-SO-HARD-TO-FORGIVE-MY-HUSBAND

“My husband started an affair almost immediately after our wedding and I just found out; that is like 4 years later. He even has a child with same woman. I was really heart broken and wanted to end the marriage but I stayed instead to work out things. Although we have both seen counselors and therapist but it’s just so hard forgive him even though I told him I have forgiven him.”

The bad news is forgiving your husband is a daily choice you have to make. The good news is these tips on how to forgive your husband after an affair will help you start the road toward healing.

“Forgiveness doesn’t mean agreeing with, condoning, or even liking what has happened,” says IyanlaVanzant, author of Forgiveness: 21 Days to Forgive Everyone for Everything. “Forgiveness means letting go and knowing that – regardless of how challenging, frightening, or difficult an experience may seem – everything is just as it needs to be in order for you to grow and learn. When you focus on how things “should” be, you deny the presence and power of love.”

The first few days (or weeks…maybe months) are the most difficult, but with time you will move forward and be happy after your husband’s affair. These tips on how to forgive your husband’s affair are inspired by a comment from a reader. She said: “My husband cheated on me with his coworker, who has since left the company. How do I forgive my husband after the affair? I can’t look at him, much less let him touch me. How do I trust him after he cheated on me? I want to forgive and move on but it’s so hard.” – from Lost That Loving Feeling? When to Give Up on Your Marriage.

 

It’s important to remember that forgiving your husband after he had an affair doesn’t mean you have to stay married to him. This article is geared towards forgiveness and saving your marriage, but it’s just as important to forgive your husband even if you decide to leave him.

Forgiveness is for you, not him.

Prepare for the daily process of forgiveness

There aren’t any easy answers about forgiveness after a physical or emotional affair. It takes time, effort, and energy to build a healthy strong marriage that includes forgiveness and trust. You need to be honest about your needs, and know from the bottom of your heart that you can trust him not to cheat on you again. If you need something that he can’t give you, then you have to decide how to meet your needs.

Sometimes, learning how to forgive your husband after an affair is more about you than him.

Decide if you can live with your husband the way he is right now

You need to decide if you’re willing to live with your husband the way he is…because most people don’t change unless they have a compelling reason. You can’t convince your husband to change, and you may not even be able to force yourself to forgive him after the affair.

Maybe accepting your husband for who he is means you look past his affairs (but I don’t recommend that!). You can try to support your husband through the worst parts of marriage — and it’s especially effective when both of you are equally committed to saving your marriage.

If both you and your husband aren’t willing to work towards forgiving after an affair, then you need to accept your marriage for what it is, and not expect more. And, you might need to learn how to overcome obsession with your husband’s affair.

People perceive affairs differently

Men perceive physical affairs to be worse, and women feel emotional infidelity is more upsetting, according to a study in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy. This seems to hold true in “real life”, too.

One of my friends’ husbands had a physical and emotional affair with her best friend, and she said it was so difficult to forgive and trust him again — but they held it together. She said saving her marriage would have been easier if it was “only” a physical affair. But he was in love with her best friend.

That marriage was saved, and both husband and wife say it’s because God taught them how to forgive after the painful betrayal of an affair.

Believe that “happily ever after” DOES exist

Have faith in happily ever after.

 

It take effort, energy, time, and commitment to learn  how to forgive your husband after an affair. It’s hard enough building a happy marriage when nobody cheated, but forgiving and trusting after he cheated on you is difficult.

That said, however, it is possible to build a better marriage. And your marriage may be stronger, happier, and healthier because he cheated. Many relationships are stronger because of infidelity – and the couples DO live happily ever after.

Remember that love isn’t just about saying “I love you”

In fact, that’s the easiest, laziest part of love! Anyone can say “I love you.” Real, committed, healthy, romantic love is about how you treat each other, whether you respect one another’s wishes, if you can talk about your problems, if you’re emotionally and spiritually connected, and if you have the same goals for the future.

Forgiving your husband after an affair does not happen overnight

Learning to trust again after a betrayal such as an physical or emotional affair doesn’t happen once, nor does it happen quickly.

Rebuilding trust and forgiving your husband is a process that involves ups and downs – even if you’re the most forgiving person in the world. You will eventually learn to trust him after he cheated on you — but you have to work on it. And he’ll have to earn your trust.

“Accept the events of the past, while being willing to change your perspective on them,” says IyanlaVanzant. “Only forgiveness can liberate minds and hearts once held captive by anger, bitterness, resentment, and fear. Forgiveness is a true path to freedom that can renew faith, build trust, and nourish the soul.”

If want to save your marriage, consider getting counseling

Untangling emotional issues is very difficult, and a professional counselor can help you see how to forgive your husband after an affair. Marriage counseling doesn’t have to last for years or even months; sometimes it just takes a session or two to see what the issues are and how to resolve them.

Healing Your Marriage When Trust Is Broken: Finding Forgiveness and Restoration is one of the most popular books on  forgiving and trusting your husband after an affair. It’s a long process that doesn’t happen overnight – it can take years to forgive him after he cheated.

Here’s what a marriage counselor says about cheating: “It’s best to come clean as early as possible,” says Gary Neuman, author of The Truth about Cheating: Why Men Stray and What You Can Do to Prevent It by M. Gary Neuman. “Be honest with your partner when you’re just beginning to become interested in someone else.”

If your husband is hiding his affair from you – or trying to make you feel crazy for thinking he cheated – then forgiveness will be MUCH more difficult. But if he’s honest about why and when he cheated, you might find it a bit easier to forgive him after an affair.

I welcome your thoughts on how to forgive your husband after an affair below. I can’t offer advice or counseling, but sometimes it helps to share what you’re going through. Writing can be one of the most healing ways to find peace and forgiveness.

 

Most part of the question answered by The Adventurous Writer

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IS HE STERILE?

IS-HE-STERILE

I got married about 2 ago and I am very worried that my husband could be sterile. Sometime it takes a very long time for him to have an erection, at other times he just says he’s not in the mood but I know it’s because we have been talking about how slow he is to get erected. Now he avoids sex and I am really getting frustrated. Do you have any idea what I can do?

 

 

I am not a doctor neither do I have any medical experience to answer your question medically.

I strongly advise that you see a medical professional

 

However, let me tell you what I think from experience. Men do not have same ‘ejaculation speed’ so you have to be patient with him. You may probably be comparing his ability to give you sexual satisfaction with other sex partners you had before you met him and before you got married. You have to be extremely patient with him, follow his lead.

 

You also have to encourage him and appreciate him after each love making even when it’s not what you expected. Making a man know that he’s not satisfying you is enough to make him loose interest in making love to you.

 

No one is perfect and sexual experience with couple gets better as they continue to make effort towards it. You are just only a year d in the marriage and I can bet you that it can only get better as you are patient with your partner and put effort to make the experience a better one.

 

The issue could also be that you get to orgasm faster than him then you have to slow down using extensive fore play and seeing that he is also near orgasm before you ‘join the flight’.

 

You may also want to find out what turns him on, those sensitive spots that gets him on. Do that even before you get your clothes off. Get creative. Seduce him, he’s your husband.

 

If your ordinary creativity doesn’t work then try medical.

 

I wish you the best.

 

This question was originally sent to my inbox and shared with permission from the sender.

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20 THINGS NO LADY SHOULD DO FOR ‘LOVE’

20 THINGS NO LADY SHOULD DO FOR LOVE

It’s interesting what some ladies do just because they are ‘in love’ even when those actions are not in their best interest nor promote a healthy relationship. Here is a list of things you should not do just because you are ‘in love’

 

  1. Don’t Co-habit

Living with a man you are not wedded or properly married to, doesn’t make you a married couple; you are roommates or bedmates but certainly not a couple in the sense of being married. Co-habitation is different from living together as husband and wife in a HOME. Don’t make yourself cheap. Don’t move in before you do what is right.

 

  1. Don’t be His Number 2

Knowing he is married yet you accept to be a second wife? We are not talking about divorce or a widower but a man who is probably having issues with his wife that can be resolved. If he promised to divorce his wife, then let him do so before you both get serious but you also have to consider that for whatever reason he is divorcing the first wife, if you do the same you will be divorced too. Men are not that scarce. There are many young single, handsome, god-fearing men. Think about you and him, a third party is a crowd.

 

  1. Don’t Give Up Your Dreams

Marriage is a journey and not a destination let alone a relationship. Meaning you should not give up pursuing your dreams just because you found the love of your life. If you give up your dreams for a man you will not stop regretting it in future because he is not going to give up his dreams because he found you. Pursuing your dreams while he does same to his even gives your excitement in the relationship.

  1. Don’t Alter Your Looks

It is funny today how many ladies have altered their looks just because they want attention. It is not worth it. There comes a time when the attentions will no longer matter and you will not be able to reverse the looks. If a man prefers big boobs while you are endowed otherwise then you are certainly not the person for him. Let no one put pressure on you to change your skin color, or the shape of their body just to satisfy his selfish fantasy.

  1. Don’t Flaunt An Engagement Ring Without A Commitment

Wearing an engagement ring of a man who hasn’t met your parentsmaybe common but yours has to be different. It is true the marriage is between a man and his woman but family is important too. Don’t waste your time and miss a family blessing. If he has no relationship with your family you are going to be lost from your family when you get married.

  1. Don’t confuse a boyfriend with a husband

Using your boyfriend’s picture as your profile picture on Facebook and other social media status, thus blocking serious and potential suitors.-Hey, you have missed it all. A boyfriend is NOT a husband!

  1. Don’t Give Your Body

Giving your body to a man who has not paid your bride-price is not right. Sex will not make him love you more. If he wants your body let him get it the proper way. These days some ladies do not even see their body as being sacred. 1Cor. 6:19. “Your body is the temple of the Lord and you have been bought with a price…”

  1. Don’t Do His Chores

Cooking, cleaning his house and washing clothes for your boyfriend? What are you? His mother or maid? This can be the biggest mistake of your life. You are not wife yet, so what are you doing these for? Chores will not convince him that you are a potential wife if his heart is not with you.

 

  1. Don’t Ignore Your Parents To Please Him

Disobeying your parents for the sake of a man you are dating does not show him true love. A curse follows, so don’t do it. The bible says; “Honor your father and mother so that IT MAY BE WELL WITH YOU AND YOUR DAYS MAYBE LONG ON EARTH. You can have as many men you want but you can’t have many parents! Don’t do what you will regret when you become a parent too.

  1. Don’t Bond With Sex

Giving sex to a man simply because he promised to marry you will not make him do so. There is a huge difference between “I will marry you” and“I have married you.” Don’t make that thing between your thighs a souvenir; it’s a beautiful gift for marriage.

 

  1. Don’t Change From Being Who You are to make him happy

God created everyone uniquely and, that should be celebrated. If he thinks you laugh too much or talk too loud for his liking, you will be making a mistake if you try to do these positive things less just to please him

  1. Don’t Throw Away Valuable Friendship to keep him

You know that thing that happens when some ladies fall in love they lose all their girlfriends because they are ‘busy’ building their relationship? Don’t let that happen to you. You will always need your girlfriends especially those who have been loyal to you. Don’t give them up.

  1. Don’t Sex-Chat

Sending your unclad pictures to your boyfriend to let him know how ‘hot’ you are and what he will miss if he doesn’t make commitment to you is cheap. It is SHAME! How can anyone even think of doing this? How does unclad picture encourage a healthy-long-term beautiful relationship?

  1. Don’t Accept Abuse

A boyfriend beats you and you still say you cannot do without him? You don’t even have wait to be hit, the moment he starts using ill words then it’s time to bolt. You will become his punching bag if you permit it. No woman deserves to remain with a man who abuses her.

  1. Don’t Give A Good Reason To Remain In A Bad Relationship

‘Fast and praying’ for a relationship you know you should break away from is bad. God is not your errand boy; He won’t grant your prayers. And stop holding onto a bad relationship God is delivering you from.

  1. Don’t AcceptTo Be Treated Like Trash

A man cheats on you and you say you can never quit the relationship because you are deeply in love with him. Or because he is your first love.GET WISE! You deserve the best in your relationship.

  1. Don’t Give Him A Baby

Having a baby for a man in a relationship you are not even sure of but hoping your baby would make him commit to you is a huge mistake. Babies are human not toys! You make careful and calculative plans for them!

  1. Don’t Fight For Him

Taking a fight to another woman you suspect your man maybe cheating with or putting up attitude for another lady you feel threatened by is childish. Grow up! If he’s really yours you won’t have to fight for him. And if you fight to keep him you will lose him, before then your relationship will be miserable.

  1. Don’t Cheapen Yourself

Sleeping with another man for money to take care of your bills or the materials things you want to get from him doesn’t make you better than a prostitute. He may not know what you are doing for him but you call it love. Your body is not a money making machine. It belongs to God, make deliberate effort to keep and treat it as God’s property.

  1. Don’t compromise your faith

No man is worth compromising your belief in God. You shouldn’t even date a man that has no relationship with God. You cannot survive the journey of marriage with God being at the center. Don’t settle for a man who promises a relationship when you get married, that may never happen once he gets you.

Shalom!

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20 things no lady should do for ‘love’

20-things-no-lady-should-do-for-love

It’s interesting what some ladies do just because they are ‘in love’ even when those actions are not in their best interest nor promote a healthy relationship. Here is a list of things you should not do just because you are ‘in love’

 

  1. Don’t Co-habit

Living with a man you are not wedded or properly married to, doesn’t make you a married couple; you are roommates or bedmates but certainly not a couple in the sense of being married. Co-habitation is different from living together as husband and wife in a HOME. Don’t make yourself cheap. Don’t move in before you do what is right.

 

  1. Don’t be His Number 2

Knowing he is married yet you accept to be a second wife? We are not talking about divorce or a widower but a man who is probably having issues with his wife that can be resolved. If he promised to divorce his wife, then let him do so before you both get serious but you also have to consider that for whatever reason he is divorcing the first wife, if you do the same you will be divorced too. Men are not that scarce. There are many young single, handsome, god-fearing men. Think about you and him, a third party is a crowd.

 

  1. Don’t Give Up Your Dreams

Marriage is a journey and not a destination let alone a relationship. Meaning you should not give up pursuing your dreams just because you found the love of your life. If you give up your dreams for a man you will not stop regretting it in future because he is not going to give up his dreams because he found you. Pursuing your dreams while he does same to his even gives your excitement in the relationship.

  1. Don’t Alter Your Looks

It is funny today how many ladies have altered their looks just because they want attention. It is not worth it. There comes a time when the attentions will no longer matter and you will not be able to reverse the looks. If a man prefers big boobs while you are endowed otherwise then you are certainly not the person for him. Let no one put pressure on you to change your skin color, or the shape of their body just to satisfy his selfish fantasy.

  1. Don’t Flaunt An Engagement Ring Without A Commitment

Wearing an engagement ring of a man who hasn’t met your parentsmaybe common but yours has to be different. It is true the marriage is between a man and his woman but family is important too. Don’t waste your time and miss a family blessing. If he has no relationship with your family you are going to be lost from your family when you get married.

  1. Don’t confuse a boyfriend with a husband

Using your boyfriend’s picture as your profile picture on Facebook and other social media status, thus blocking serious and potential suitors.-Hey, you have missed it all. A boyfriend is NOT a husband!

  1. Don’t Give Your Body

Giving your body to a man who has not paid your bride-price is not right. Sex will not make him love you more. If he wants your body let him get it the proper way. These days some ladies do not even see their body as being sacred. 1Cor. 6:19. “Your body is the temple of the Lord and you have been bought with a price…”

  1. Don’t Do His Chores

Cooking, cleaning his house and washing clothes for your boyfriend? What are you? His mother or maid? This can be the biggest mistake of your life. You are not wife yet, so what are you doing these for? Chores will not convince him that you are a potential wife if his heart is not with you.

 

  1. Don’t Ignore Your Parents To Please Him

Disobeying your parents for the sake of a man you are dating does not show him true love. A curse follows, so don’t do it. The bible says; “Honor your father and mother so that IT MAY BE WELL WITH YOU AND YOUR DAYS MAYBE LONG ON EARTH. You can have as many men you want but you can’t have many parents! Don’t do what you will regret when you become a parent too.

  1. Don’t Bond With Sex

Giving sex to a man simply because he promised to marry you will not make him do so. There is a huge difference between “I will marry you” and“I have married you.” Don’t make that thing between your thighs a souvenir; it’s a beautiful gift for marriage.

 

  1. Don’t Change From Being Who You are to make him happy

God created everyone uniquely and, that should be celebrated. If he thinks you laugh too much or talk too loud for his liking, you will be making a mistake if you try to do these positive things less just to please him

  1. Don’t Throw Away Valuable Friendship to keep him

You know that thing that happens when some ladies fall in love they lose all their girlfriends because they are ‘busy’ building their relationship? Don’t let that happen to you. You will always need your girlfriends especially those who have been loyal to you. Don’t give them up.

  1. Don’t Sex-Chat

Sending your unclad pictures to your boyfriend to let him know how ‘hot’ you are and what he will miss if he doesn’t make commitment to you is cheap. It is SHAME! How can anyone even think of doing this? How does unclad picture encourage a healthy-long-term beautiful relationship?

  1. Don’t Accept Abuse

A boyfriend beats you and you still say you cannot do without him? You don’t even have wait to be hit, the moment he starts using ill words then it’s time to bolt. You will become his punching bag if you permit it. No woman deserves to remain with a man who abuses her.

  1. Don’t Give A Good Reason To Remain In A Bad Relationship

‘Fast and praying’ for a relationship you know you should break away from is bad. God is not your errand boy; He won’t grant your prayers. And stop holding onto a bad relationship God is delivering you from.

  1. Don’t AcceptTo Be Treated Like Trash

A man cheats on you and you say you can never quit the relationship because you are deeply in love with him. Or because he is your first love.GET WISE! You deserve the best in your relationship.

  1. Don’t Give Him A Baby

Having a baby for a man in a relationship you are not even sure of but hoping your baby would make him commit to you is a huge mistake. Babies are human not toys! You make careful and calculative plans for them!

  1. Don’t Fight For Him

Taking a fight to another woman you suspect your man maybe cheating with or putting up attitude for another lady you feel threatened by is childish. Grow up! If he’s really yours you won’t have to fight for him. And if you fight to keep him you will lose him, before then your relationship will be miserable.

  1. Don’t Cheapen Yourself

Sleeping with another man for money to take care of your bills or the materials things you want to get from him doesn’t make you better than a prostitute. He may not know what you are doing for him but you call it love. Your body is not a money making machine. It belongs to God, make deliberate effort to keep and treat it as God’s property.

  1. Don’t compromise your faith

No man is worth compromising your belief in God. You shouldn’t even date a man that has no relationship with God. You cannot survive the journey of marriage with God being at the center. Don’t settle for a man who promises a relationship when you get married, that may never happen once he gets you.

Shalom!

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