Her second lecture for the day extended beyond the time scheduled for it. She couldn’t rush out because the lecturer was highlighting areas in his text book where his test would be set from. She couldn’t afford a drop in her grade point average for the semester. It was also a 3 units’ course.
As soon as he mentioned the last topic, she dashed out of the lecture hall and made her way to the next lecture hall. She was sweating profusely when she got to the hall and was slightly out of breath because she ran. Immediately she got into the hall she sat on the last seat behind the hall and rest her head on the desk to catch her breathe.
After a few minutes she caught her breathe and raised up her head. It wasn’t the lecturer that started the course with them that semester that was lecturing. It was the man that had sexually abused her when she was 10 years old. It happened just one time but the memories became so fresh in her mind as she stared at him.
She didn’t mention or report the incident because he had threatened her. He told her all the people she loved were going to start dying one after the other if she dared report to anyone; anyone at all.
She couldn’t stop the tears from flowing as she stood there, helplessly staring at her abuser, with no clue how to react. The entire class turned as they watched the tears roll down her cheeks. Just then, her best friend made her way through the crowd and took her outside.
Kate tried to console her but she also kept probing to know what had caused her such pain. She couldn’t even start narrating the story because she couldn’t explain what was going on in that instant.
Funmi went about life like everything had normalize until that day when she bumped into the man, who she calls “Monster Molester”. She honestly thought the matter had been forgotten because he moved from the area shortly after the act. She thought the saying, “Out of sight is out of mind” applied to her.
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She suddenly realized that healing will take more than not seeing or thinking about the event. One needs to do more than that to feel close to normal again. The scar was too deep for her to fully let go but she was willing to try because living in the past is not an option for her.
Healing from past sexual abuse hurt is not automatic. God is not a magician. He takes time to work in us and through us so we can be good enough for the purpose He created us. Unlike being awarded a double promotion in school, God will not allow us to skip any class if He needs to do a thorough work in us such as removing any excess luggage that may hinder or slow us down from pursuing His will. And you cannot run faster than God by trying to hasten up what He’s doing in your life. So be patient enough to walk and work with Him to become a better you.
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