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WHAT’S WRONG WITH ‘MASTURBATING’ MY SPOUSE?

“I am married for 3 years and wife likes everything else apart from actual penetration which is fine by me. Some recently told her that masturbation is a sin and she says we should stop giving ourselves hand-job. I just want to know if there’s anything wrong in masturbating my wife.”

Absolutely nothing!Nothing is wrong to give and get sexual satisfaction from your spouse!

Maybe the question should then have been ‘what’s wrong with making passionate love to my spouse?”Your spouse!!!If you don’t then be prepared, someone else is going to do it FOR YOU. And maybe better. God forbid! When it comes to sexual satisfaction it should be a pleasurable adventure; no hard and fast rule attached but what is comfortable and enjoyable by the partners.

Ok first let’s get this straight, there’s ACTUALLY nowhere in the bible that the word ‘masturbation’ was mentioned neither does it belong to the Ten Commandments like “Thou Shall Not Masturbate.” Just like there’s no“Thou Shall Not Smoke.” Yet you know smoking is not good for you; it KILLS so you avoid it right? There are many other things we would not be caught doing not because we CAN’T do them but we know that those things are just NOT RIGHT for us especially as a believer. Even if they are cool for others.

It’s not just about masturbation and its addiction. What about fornication and adultery? What about incest and use of sex toys. Thou Shall Not Use Sex Toy is not in the bible but we know that using sex toy is NOT right. When God initiated sex, it wasn’t meant for toys or to be done with toys. So let’s summarize this way, the Holy Spirit confirms to a believer what is right and if the believer doesn’t do it it’s an offense to God. “In fact, if you know the right thing to do and don’t do it, that, for you, is evil.” James 4:17

When God initiated sex, it is to be within the bounds of marriage. It was marriage before sex not the other way as it is these days. His first intention is for PLEASURE, children are byproduct. “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and CLEAVE to his wife.”Gen2:24. When it comes to marriage and sexually satisfying your spouse, to cleave means many good things which may include teasing all sexual organs by whatever means to give and get sexual satisfaction.

I strongly believe that whatever you do to sexually satisfy your spouse is really up to you and should be between you and your spouse. What is fun and pleasurable for one couple might not be so for another so just stick to what works for you and stop comparing how others are giving and getting their own satisfaction. Sex in marriage is an affair BEHIND THE DOORS and should not be compared to what everyone else is doing. No two people get sexual satisfaction same way even if they are twins. If the method is fine for you and your spouse and does not pose any medical threat then you shouldn’t bother. It’s something different if your spouse wants something that you don’t want or one partner wants something that may generate some health issues. If the pleasure and satisfaction is symbiotic then you are good to go!

For some people also, women especially actual penetration is less preferred to foreplay. So your wife might achieve sexual satisfaction just by the hand-job. It’s not the same for some men, until there is penetration he might not be as satisfied. Some women get satisfaction from ‘tongue and finger works’. They find greater satisfaction from being teased and touched. They look forward more to the foreplay than the main thing. Not many men are game for such ceremonies but a man who knows how to delay his ejaculation to satisfy her is a great partner and vice-versa. I won’t call this masturbation.

Bless your fresh-flowing fountain! Enjoy the wife you married as a young man!  Lovely as an angel, beautiful as a rose – don’t ever quit taking delight in her body. Never take her love for granted!Proverbs 5:18-19

 

Shalom!

wisewalk

The author wisewalk

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