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CHOOSING BEYOND THE MAKE UP

CHOOSING-BEYOND-THE-MAKE-UP

Some people are so addicted to wearing makeup that they can’t imagine being without it. While I am not against wearing makeup, it is good to just appreciate yourself the way you are, without the makeup on. Make up can conceal your contour but it can’t change who you really are. Most brides with the transformation of makeup on their wedding day look different from their original appearance. The artist does a great job covering spots and contours to achieve a flawless face to the admiration of guests. It is okay and advisable for a bride to look her best on her wedding day but beyond the makeup who really are you getting married to? Do you know this person’s character enough to be able to put up with them or you are deciding by all the external features.

To love someone and be loved is a very beautiful thing, to find that one person to spend the rest of your life with is a greatfeeling and so people would do anything just to make someone love them. Even box them to become the kind of mate they desire in marriage. It is amazing what people go through in bid to give or get love. Some guys focus on keeping an attractive physique and money by any means just to woo whatever woman they desire. Some ladies focus on all sorts of makeover that makes them almost unrecognizable, some are just crazy over boobs and butt enhancement and booty pads just to make their natural endowment bigger that it actually is. Little wonder marriages don’t last any more, people focused so much on the fake, the temporal and that which does not last. When considering marriage, be truthful to yourself and look out for someone who will be as truthful and not just keeping up to impress you.

While keeping an attractive look is good, you can’t base your choice of a marital partner on just looks. Looks change with time! Any man who wants a woman because of her boobs and booty is not seeking a long term relationship because those features are interpreted as sex to a man. Booty and boobs makes him wants sex and sex alone is not enough to sustain a marriage. Yes it is possible for a man to have sex with a woman without a heart connection. An ideal marital partner should be attracted to your heart first before your sexual organs.

You can’t choose your man because of his biceps and how loaded his pocket or bank account is. He could grow potbelly and I tell you the truth it is harder to maintain such physique. Would you stop loving him when he begins to grow bigger than when you met? There would be broke days, days that he may not have money to meet all your demands and everything money can buy. There will be days when your needs will surmount what he has to offer. What will you do at such times? Leave him?

When Isaac was going to get married in Gen 24, it was stated that the girl had to be carefully chosen and selected, unfortunately not many young people apply such care when deciding for a life partner. Verse 16, “And the girl was very beautiful and attractive, chaste and modest and unmarried. And she went down to the well, filled her water jar and came up.”

A careful selection has nothing to do with how you feel when that person comes close to you because you might have sexual feelings for someone and it is not a sign that the relationship is right. A careful selection will have to listen to the voice of the spirit; it goes beyond what you think and people’s opinion of who you should marry. Do you know that when you base your choice on careful selection means that you will have to go through moments of contemplations and those are the times when the Holy Spirit impress in your heart which way to go.

The proposed wife in the passage above was first beautiful and this beauty goes beyond what the physical eyes can see. It has to do with a relationship with God, character, integrity, amiable personality, and these are qualities that cannot come on anyone by applying the finest makeup. These are the qualities a young person should first be looking out for before considering other things that can fade away with time. While your makeup can conceal the contours in your face and make you look attractive it can never conceal a bad character. While you are emphasis on the outward appearance so you would get your desired mate, remember that you can easily attract anyone with your looks but your character will keep that person.

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IS HE STERILE?

IS-HE-STERILE

I got married about 2 ago and I am very worried that my husband could be sterile. Sometime it takes a very long time for him to have an erection, at other times he just says he’s not in the mood but I know it’s because we have been talking about how slow he is to get erected. Now he avoids sex and I am really getting frustrated. Do you have any idea what I can do?

 

 

I am not a doctor neither do I have any medical experience to answer your question medically.

I strongly advise that you see a medical professional

 

However, let me tell you what I think from experience. Men do not have same ‘ejaculation speed’ so you have to be patient with him. You may probably be comparing his ability to give you sexual satisfaction with other sex partners you had before you met him and before you got married. You have to be extremely patient with him, follow his lead.

 

You also have to encourage him and appreciate him after each love making even when it’s not what you expected. Making a man know that he’s not satisfying you is enough to make him loose interest in making love to you.

 

No one is perfect and sexual experience with couple gets better as they continue to make effort towards it. You are just only a year d in the marriage and I can bet you that it can only get better as you are patient with your partner and put effort to make the experience a better one.

 

The issue could also be that you get to orgasm faster than him then you have to slow down using extensive fore play and seeing that he is also near orgasm before you ‘join the flight’.

 

You may also want to find out what turns him on, those sensitive spots that gets him on. Do that even before you get your clothes off. Get creative. Seduce him, he’s your husband.

 

If your ordinary creativity doesn’t work then try medical.

 

I wish you the best.

 

This question was originally sent to my inbox and shared with permission from the sender.

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20 THINGS NO LADY SHOULD DO FOR ‘LOVE’

20 THINGS NO LADY SHOULD DO FOR LOVE

It’s interesting what some ladies do just because they are ‘in love’ even when those actions are not in their best interest nor promote a healthy relationship. Here is a list of things you should not do just because you are ‘in love’

 

  1. Don’t Co-habit

Living with a man you are not wedded or properly married to, doesn’t make you a married couple; you are roommates or bedmates but certainly not a couple in the sense of being married. Co-habitation is different from living together as husband and wife in a HOME. Don’t make yourself cheap. Don’t move in before you do what is right.

 

  1. Don’t be His Number 2

Knowing he is married yet you accept to be a second wife? We are not talking about divorce or a widower but a man who is probably having issues with his wife that can be resolved. If he promised to divorce his wife, then let him do so before you both get serious but you also have to consider that for whatever reason he is divorcing the first wife, if you do the same you will be divorced too. Men are not that scarce. There are many young single, handsome, god-fearing men. Think about you and him, a third party is a crowd.

 

  1. Don’t Give Up Your Dreams

Marriage is a journey and not a destination let alone a relationship. Meaning you should not give up pursuing your dreams just because you found the love of your life. If you give up your dreams for a man you will not stop regretting it in future because he is not going to give up his dreams because he found you. Pursuing your dreams while he does same to his even gives your excitement in the relationship.

  1. Don’t Alter Your Looks

It is funny today how many ladies have altered their looks just because they want attention. It is not worth it. There comes a time when the attentions will no longer matter and you will not be able to reverse the looks. If a man prefers big boobs while you are endowed otherwise then you are certainly not the person for him. Let no one put pressure on you to change your skin color, or the shape of their body just to satisfy his selfish fantasy.

  1. Don’t Flaunt An Engagement Ring Without A Commitment

Wearing an engagement ring of a man who hasn’t met your parentsmaybe common but yours has to be different. It is true the marriage is between a man and his woman but family is important too. Don’t waste your time and miss a family blessing. If he has no relationship with your family you are going to be lost from your family when you get married.

  1. Don’t confuse a boyfriend with a husband

Using your boyfriend’s picture as your profile picture on Facebook and other social media status, thus blocking serious and potential suitors.-Hey, you have missed it all. A boyfriend is NOT a husband!

  1. Don’t Give Your Body

Giving your body to a man who has not paid your bride-price is not right. Sex will not make him love you more. If he wants your body let him get it the proper way. These days some ladies do not even see their body as being sacred. 1Cor. 6:19. “Your body is the temple of the Lord and you have been bought with a price…”

  1. Don’t Do His Chores

Cooking, cleaning his house and washing clothes for your boyfriend? What are you? His mother or maid? This can be the biggest mistake of your life. You are not wife yet, so what are you doing these for? Chores will not convince him that you are a potential wife if his heart is not with you.

 

  1. Don’t Ignore Your Parents To Please Him

Disobeying your parents for the sake of a man you are dating does not show him true love. A curse follows, so don’t do it. The bible says; “Honor your father and mother so that IT MAY BE WELL WITH YOU AND YOUR DAYS MAYBE LONG ON EARTH. You can have as many men you want but you can’t have many parents! Don’t do what you will regret when you become a parent too.

  1. Don’t Bond With Sex

Giving sex to a man simply because he promised to marry you will not make him do so. There is a huge difference between “I will marry you” and“I have married you.” Don’t make that thing between your thighs a souvenir; it’s a beautiful gift for marriage.

 

  1. Don’t Change From Being Who You are to make him happy

God created everyone uniquely and, that should be celebrated. If he thinks you laugh too much or talk too loud for his liking, you will be making a mistake if you try to do these positive things less just to please him

  1. Don’t Throw Away Valuable Friendship to keep him

You know that thing that happens when some ladies fall in love they lose all their girlfriends because they are ‘busy’ building their relationship? Don’t let that happen to you. You will always need your girlfriends especially those who have been loyal to you. Don’t give them up.

  1. Don’t Sex-Chat

Sending your unclad pictures to your boyfriend to let him know how ‘hot’ you are and what he will miss if he doesn’t make commitment to you is cheap. It is SHAME! How can anyone even think of doing this? How does unclad picture encourage a healthy-long-term beautiful relationship?

  1. Don’t Accept Abuse

A boyfriend beats you and you still say you cannot do without him? You don’t even have wait to be hit, the moment he starts using ill words then it’s time to bolt. You will become his punching bag if you permit it. No woman deserves to remain with a man who abuses her.

  1. Don’t Give A Good Reason To Remain In A Bad Relationship

‘Fast and praying’ for a relationship you know you should break away from is bad. God is not your errand boy; He won’t grant your prayers. And stop holding onto a bad relationship God is delivering you from.

  1. Don’t AcceptTo Be Treated Like Trash

A man cheats on you and you say you can never quit the relationship because you are deeply in love with him. Or because he is your first love.GET WISE! You deserve the best in your relationship.

  1. Don’t Give Him A Baby

Having a baby for a man in a relationship you are not even sure of but hoping your baby would make him commit to you is a huge mistake. Babies are human not toys! You make careful and calculative plans for them!

  1. Don’t Fight For Him

Taking a fight to another woman you suspect your man maybe cheating with or putting up attitude for another lady you feel threatened by is childish. Grow up! If he’s really yours you won’t have to fight for him. And if you fight to keep him you will lose him, before then your relationship will be miserable.

  1. Don’t Cheapen Yourself

Sleeping with another man for money to take care of your bills or the materials things you want to get from him doesn’t make you better than a prostitute. He may not know what you are doing for him but you call it love. Your body is not a money making machine. It belongs to God, make deliberate effort to keep and treat it as God’s property.

  1. Don’t compromise your faith

No man is worth compromising your belief in God. You shouldn’t even date a man that has no relationship with God. You cannot survive the journey of marriage with God being at the center. Don’t settle for a man who promises a relationship when you get married, that may never happen once he gets you.

Shalom!

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20 things no lady should do for ‘love’

20-things-no-lady-should-do-for-love

It’s interesting what some ladies do just because they are ‘in love’ even when those actions are not in their best interest nor promote a healthy relationship. Here is a list of things you should not do just because you are ‘in love’

 

  1. Don’t Co-habit

Living with a man you are not wedded or properly married to, doesn’t make you a married couple; you are roommates or bedmates but certainly not a couple in the sense of being married. Co-habitation is different from living together as husband and wife in a HOME. Don’t make yourself cheap. Don’t move in before you do what is right.

 

  1. Don’t be His Number 2

Knowing he is married yet you accept to be a second wife? We are not talking about divorce or a widower but a man who is probably having issues with his wife that can be resolved. If he promised to divorce his wife, then let him do so before you both get serious but you also have to consider that for whatever reason he is divorcing the first wife, if you do the same you will be divorced too. Men are not that scarce. There are many young single, handsome, god-fearing men. Think about you and him, a third party is a crowd.

 

  1. Don’t Give Up Your Dreams

Marriage is a journey and not a destination let alone a relationship. Meaning you should not give up pursuing your dreams just because you found the love of your life. If you give up your dreams for a man you will not stop regretting it in future because he is not going to give up his dreams because he found you. Pursuing your dreams while he does same to his even gives your excitement in the relationship.

  1. Don’t Alter Your Looks

It is funny today how many ladies have altered their looks just because they want attention. It is not worth it. There comes a time when the attentions will no longer matter and you will not be able to reverse the looks. If a man prefers big boobs while you are endowed otherwise then you are certainly not the person for him. Let no one put pressure on you to change your skin color, or the shape of their body just to satisfy his selfish fantasy.

  1. Don’t Flaunt An Engagement Ring Without A Commitment

Wearing an engagement ring of a man who hasn’t met your parentsmaybe common but yours has to be different. It is true the marriage is between a man and his woman but family is important too. Don’t waste your time and miss a family blessing. If he has no relationship with your family you are going to be lost from your family when you get married.

  1. Don’t confuse a boyfriend with a husband

Using your boyfriend’s picture as your profile picture on Facebook and other social media status, thus blocking serious and potential suitors.-Hey, you have missed it all. A boyfriend is NOT a husband!

  1. Don’t Give Your Body

Giving your body to a man who has not paid your bride-price is not right. Sex will not make him love you more. If he wants your body let him get it the proper way. These days some ladies do not even see their body as being sacred. 1Cor. 6:19. “Your body is the temple of the Lord and you have been bought with a price…”

  1. Don’t Do His Chores

Cooking, cleaning his house and washing clothes for your boyfriend? What are you? His mother or maid? This can be the biggest mistake of your life. You are not wife yet, so what are you doing these for? Chores will not convince him that you are a potential wife if his heart is not with you.

 

  1. Don’t Ignore Your Parents To Please Him

Disobeying your parents for the sake of a man you are dating does not show him true love. A curse follows, so don’t do it. The bible says; “Honor your father and mother so that IT MAY BE WELL WITH YOU AND YOUR DAYS MAYBE LONG ON EARTH. You can have as many men you want but you can’t have many parents! Don’t do what you will regret when you become a parent too.

  1. Don’t Bond With Sex

Giving sex to a man simply because he promised to marry you will not make him do so. There is a huge difference between “I will marry you” and“I have married you.” Don’t make that thing between your thighs a souvenir; it’s a beautiful gift for marriage.

 

  1. Don’t Change From Being Who You are to make him happy

God created everyone uniquely and, that should be celebrated. If he thinks you laugh too much or talk too loud for his liking, you will be making a mistake if you try to do these positive things less just to please him

  1. Don’t Throw Away Valuable Friendship to keep him

You know that thing that happens when some ladies fall in love they lose all their girlfriends because they are ‘busy’ building their relationship? Don’t let that happen to you. You will always need your girlfriends especially those who have been loyal to you. Don’t give them up.

  1. Don’t Sex-Chat

Sending your unclad pictures to your boyfriend to let him know how ‘hot’ you are and what he will miss if he doesn’t make commitment to you is cheap. It is SHAME! How can anyone even think of doing this? How does unclad picture encourage a healthy-long-term beautiful relationship?

  1. Don’t Accept Abuse

A boyfriend beats you and you still say you cannot do without him? You don’t even have wait to be hit, the moment he starts using ill words then it’s time to bolt. You will become his punching bag if you permit it. No woman deserves to remain with a man who abuses her.

  1. Don’t Give A Good Reason To Remain In A Bad Relationship

‘Fast and praying’ for a relationship you know you should break away from is bad. God is not your errand boy; He won’t grant your prayers. And stop holding onto a bad relationship God is delivering you from.

  1. Don’t AcceptTo Be Treated Like Trash

A man cheats on you and you say you can never quit the relationship because you are deeply in love with him. Or because he is your first love.GET WISE! You deserve the best in your relationship.

  1. Don’t Give Him A Baby

Having a baby for a man in a relationship you are not even sure of but hoping your baby would make him commit to you is a huge mistake. Babies are human not toys! You make careful and calculative plans for them!

  1. Don’t Fight For Him

Taking a fight to another woman you suspect your man maybe cheating with or putting up attitude for another lady you feel threatened by is childish. Grow up! If he’s really yours you won’t have to fight for him. And if you fight to keep him you will lose him, before then your relationship will be miserable.

  1. Don’t Cheapen Yourself

Sleeping with another man for money to take care of your bills or the materials things you want to get from him doesn’t make you better than a prostitute. He may not know what you are doing for him but you call it love. Your body is not a money making machine. It belongs to God, make deliberate effort to keep and treat it as God’s property.

  1. Don’t compromise your faith

No man is worth compromising your belief in God. You shouldn’t even date a man that has no relationship with God. You cannot survive the journey of marriage with God being at the center. Don’t settle for a man who promises a relationship when you get married, that may never happen once he gets you.

Shalom!

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