“I am in my thirties and it’s hard getting the kind of woman I want to marry. In all the girls I have dated cannot really say if I there’s a ‘wife-material’ amongst them. It seems the kind of ladies I like are either not interested in me; none has dared to be intimate with me as I want or already married. I am not a supermodel neither do I have that kind of physique that would make heads turn, but I do not believe I am ugly either. I am just okay for a young man but I do not know why ladies don’t take me seriously. I feel am getting old and time is running out on me.”
You mention some very important things that suggest you may be looking for love in the wrong places and with the wrong ideas in mind. The first thing you said is: “It seems the kind of ladies I like are either not interested in me…” That means there are some ladies that are interested. The idea is connected with the next thing you say: “I am not a supermodel neither do I have that kind of physique that would make heads turn, but I do not believe I am ugly either.” You end with a desperate comment: “I am getting old and time is running out on me.”
You need to examine what you are really interested in and what you are expecting. There are men who are not supermodels and have never been without a lady. Same way, there are model-like men who have never been in a serious relationship.Men without partners stay in their zone while searching. That does not mean there are ladies who are too good for them; it means they do not force a compatibility that is not there.
What are your criteria for a potential mate? Are you looking for something that is just on the surface: tall, dark/fair, and big hips? Are you moving too fast? Are you expecting too much? Is your attitude dismissing ladies who may be potential dates or relationshipsbecause you are too focused on what has proven not to work? If you want a different result, you have to do something differently to get it. If the criteria you are using is not working, you need to rework your plan.
The only guy who look like supermodels are supermodels and you must have noticed guys who you do not think measure up to you and are happily dating or married. A supermodel may be every woman’s dream, but they also have their own share of heartaches. Movie stars and celebrities get divorced and dumped, and in public too. Your looks do not guarantee you happiness and no lady takes your heart with her when she walks out the door.
You Might Be Too Desperate or Needy. There’s no quicker way to discourage a potential when you appear to be desperate or needy. Wanting a woman is not the same as needing one.Neediness is a state of mind where you feel incomplete, or have an emotional void, and try to fill this empty space with a relationship validation. Neediness usually stems from a lack of self-esteem or sense of worth. You feel like something is missing within yourself or in your life and erroneously believe a relationship will be the cure. If you were unhappy before the relationship, you’ll be unhappy in it. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself about being single, work on your relationship with yourself. Work on feeling your best and looking your best.
If you hear your clock ticking, chances are they (ladies) hear it too and to someone else whether it is a guy or a girl, it sounds like desperation. That is a turn off unless you find someone who is as desperate as you and that is not a good basis for a relationship.
You need to take a step backward and reassess. Look at what you want in realistic way. Even if you have an instant reaction to someone, you need to make realistic decisions about how you will act. Enjoy the moment instead of projecting your future on the women you meet. Start by simply meeting people. Get comfortable with that and you will start noticing realistically what ladies you attract and who attract you. Then, you can start building towards friendship. Once you are comfortable there, you can start looking at long term relationships. It could take weeks, months or even years, but until you get there, you will be learning more about yourself and your true likes and dislikes and that will make the dating experience get better with time and when you meet Mrs. Right, you will both be ready for the relationship you want so much.
Besides, being single is not a curse and being in a relationship is not also a cure for loneliness. No matter what stage of life you are in, it is important to take a personal inventory to look at the habits and choices that are helping you and the ones that are hurting you. Where you are now in life and the experiences you might be having are as a result of the choices you have made or still making.