Our marriage is barely two years and I discovered that at the slightest provocation my wife becomes verbally abusive and raising her voice on me. It’s surprising to me because all through courtship she was this sweet nice girl. She even now sometimes threatens to do something bad to me if she ever catches me cheating. I am worried.
Any form of abusive is worth been worried over, it’s worse when the abuser is a spouse or someone who claim to love you. Abuse in marriage does not only leave a partner in a bad shape but can damage the children who are born into such situation. It can rob you of your self-esteem and even lead you into depression. Therefore abuse in any form must be discouraged. Verbal abuse is even worse because your mind will find a way to keep ringing those words in your head. Even when you forgive that partner the effects of hurtful words can leave the heart wounded for a long time.
Some people are very clever in hiding a bad attitude just to have a relationship, they often forget that no one can really hide who they are for that long. So once the wedding ceremony is over, they begin to reveal their true self. This is deception and any relationship built on deceit will not thrive.
She needs help and there is not much you might be able to do since you already feel this way. I will recommend a godly and professional counselor that can help to examine and raid her of the effect of possible abusive past. Children who grew up under verbal abuse homes, don’t see anything wrong in verbally abusing others, she may have been one of such. Infactsome people believe that verbal abuse is a way of cautioning or reprimanding someone.
Threatening to do something bad to you if she finds you compromising also might be a sign of a not-too-good past experience. It’s possible she had been once jilted or cheated on. Lovingly also let her know how her words hit you like arrow and how it is ruining the relationship. While you are in the search for a godly and professional counselor, ask God to heal and mend your heart, so you can lovingly help her to be a better partner. Pray to God to give her the consciousness to use her tongue wisely.